You might be surprised to hear some of the things library employees deal with on a daily basis.  For example:

-The mom who wishes her son’s fine for a damaged book were $20 instead of $6.99 so he’d learn to keep his library materials away from the chihuahua.

-The patron who can’t return his lost book…because he’s in jail.

-The guardian who insists that her child be allowed to put his name on a full sign-up sheet for a program because “this is his last day here; he leaves for vacation tomorrow.”  (Well, maybe you should have come a few minutes early to sign up at the top of the list, yes?  Because I, who could desperately use a vacation about now, don’t feel a whole lot of sympathy for his plight.  Especially later.  The presenter never showed up so I had to tell all the signed up kids I was so sorry the program was canceled–and I really was sorry.  The would-be line-cutter gloated that he was pleased that if he couldn’t participate, at least now they couldn’t either.  Whaa…?  And you want special treatment?  Wow.)

-I could go on.  (And on…)

Dream Big–READ! is 2012’s summer reading theme. When kids finish half of their activities they get to hang an owl, bat, or moth on the mural. Gradually I’m adding other shapes and animals for them to find and changing the “Night Spy” challenge: easy questions on one side (“Do you see a circle?”), harder questions on the other side (“Do you see an omnivore? What does it eat?”).

But sometimes patrons are just hilarious.  Especially the kids.  Take for example what happened the evening I had to “babysit” a young boy with limited computer experience.  He wanted to create an account to play an online game.

The account set-up required basic personal information, all of which he labored to type.  Finally we got to the field requesting his birth date.  “Oh, that’s easy!” he exclaimed, while I leaned back a little and dropped my shoulders in relief because here, at last, was a step he seemed confident to complete unaided.

He entered the month and the day, then stared blankly.  “What year were you born?” I asked.

“I dunno.”

“How old are you?”

“Seven.”

“Okay, well, it’s 2012, so seven years ago when you were born it was 2005.”

He’d been pretty easygoing but at that point he turned defensive.  With a tone I don’t think I imagined was scolding, he declared, “Well, I was just a baby. I didn’t know.”  Touche, little man.

Then there was the extremely eager ten-year-old volunteer who, given the prompt “Hobbies or Interests” on her volunteer application, circled the word “hobbies. ”

{part of the gorgeous mural a local artist painted for the library}

And the six-year-old who didn’t want to sign up for summer reading because he had to sign up as a first grader (which he’ll be this fall) but still wants to identify as a kindergartener.  Finally he came back from his fit in the stacks (yes, really), sweetly saying to his mother, “Okay; I’ll try, Mama.”

I helped them complete the form.  Everything seemed even-keel.  But as they walked away I overheard the boy sternly proclaim, “But, Mom, this doesn’t mean I’m gonna read anything or do any study books!”

Just in case she was getting ideas….

Man, oh, man: the patrons.  They can drive me crazy, and yet….

Look above the “Young Woman” on the left. See the word “majic?” 

I love it that she included that in the diagram.